So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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