as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize