Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
