My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
