I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
