the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
