If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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