were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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