That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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