im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
