I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
