He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
