Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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