I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
