im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Holy sore nipples Batman
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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