I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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