He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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