I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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