let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I love you. Go after that dick
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize