Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
