Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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