Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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