He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
