We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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