She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she told me i tasted like america
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
