ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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