Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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