Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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