Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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