apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
