woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
