How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
