I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
