Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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