I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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