So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize