You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
