If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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