listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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