Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
