My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
