So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
