You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize