I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
