Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
