I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
please come you make the beer taste better
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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