I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
