please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
