I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
