I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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