The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
