For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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