I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
