Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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