Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize