so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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