I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
