i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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