everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
