it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
